Let's Party!

Mood:  Hopeful...bordering on Focused

Monday morning and it's been a weekend of reflection.  Wasn't feeling great all weekend and that caused me to be horizontal most of Saturday and Sunday, which always get the brain going.  Had some insightful revelations.  I've had some really significant times in my life when I think back "Wow! The Pam of that time was really strong or intense".  But each Pam is slightly different.  I think its time that I have a party and introduce each Pam to one another and see if we can't combine to make a New and Improved Pam.

Invitees will include the Pam from Tantallon and early Esterhazy.  When I look at pictures of that Pam from age 3 or so I see a young lady who is fearless and ready to grab the World by the horns.  She was happy and full of music and joy.  She could've taken the world by storm.

Next on the list would be Luther Pam.  Aged eighteen and nineteen, the future was wide open to her.  All possibilities were doable.  A fellow dorm-mate (and extremely intelligent and admirable gal) once told this focused Pam that she was jealous.  Jealous? Of me?  Because I knew exactly what I wanted out of life.  I wanted to find Mr. Right and have the picket fence and be a professional Block Parent.

Also invited to the party would have to be Trucker Pam.  Who leaves their established Childcare career that they have  been trained for and gets their Class 1 and goes truckin?  Maybe there was traces of that 3 year old fearlessness still in there?  Many icy winter roads white-knuckling it up and down the roads of North America.  Whew!

What would a party be without Lillooet Pam?  Actually this spans a few years at the end of the millenium, but generally this Pam became a girl during this time.  Up until those years, she claimed to be "an Earthworm", very androginous.  Female enough to be sweet, but never very sexy or sensual.  And yet as tough or strong as any guy out there.  But during that time a butterfly emerged somehow.  Found my "She Legs".

The guestlist continues with Career Pam and there are a couple of versions that should attend.  The Pam that took the leap to try this job, and try to do it well despite not having much in the way of guidance needs to be there.  And then Germany Pam, who accomplished things that wasn't even on the radar of imaginable!  The persona that was created in Germany (even if it was a blatant case of Fake It Till You Make It) still blows my mind.  Who WAS that person?  Strong, Confident and Funny and a grownup version of that 3 year old girl from Tantallon.  Because no one at those meetings knew the Pam who was a culmination of Life Experiences that got me here, I was free to "act" like whoever I wanted to be.  And so this whirlwind of a gal took Europe by storm!

Maybe it wasn't entirely an act?

I think this will be one hell of a party and I look forward to much dancing and laughing!