Go Toward The Light

Mood: Happy And Extremely Hopeful

There's a light at the end of the tunnel.  Its a teeny light, but I can see it!  It could be a train coming at me, but I'm going to go toward the light.

Saw the new doctor today. Want a fresh start, a new perspective on my health situation and I was really pleased with our first appointment.  I explained to her that I've been on a Merry Go Round and I know some of the things that would help make me feel better however I just didn't know where to begin.  We discussed a number of things that will be investigated so I finally feel like I have a "teammate" for getting myself pointed forward again.

We started with a prescription for Celexa.  I had success with this anti-depressant about 3 years ago, so it was a good place to begin.  It has been many months of trying to deciding whether this was a good move for me, but the Lows have been coming closer together lately and the valleys have been deeper each time.  When they started returning, they were sporadic and only a bit of a Dip.  But as they increase in intensity, I now know that it's the right thing to do...at least for now.

I have an appointment with a respiratory clinic to do a sleep study.  I was not surprised when the Doc suggested that we check for Sleep Apnea.  I wake up most mornings feeling like someone has beaten me with a baseball bat during the night.  It really doesn't matter if I've had 6 hours sleep or nine.  I wake up feeling horrible.  So, in about a week I will find out if that has been a factor as well.  And for good measure we are gonna have a peek at my hormones and other chemical levels.  They were all fine last February, but it doesn't hurt to check The Fluid Levels before the Check Engine Light comes on.

The doctor's office is also referring me to a psychologist as well.  Probably a good idea to talk to a professional about the beehive known as the inside of my brain, although I sure hope this professional has a large pad of paper and a plan because I really won't know where to begin!

It's a small step, but Lao Tzu said "A journey of a thousand miles begins with one small step".  I'm incredibly thankful for this one small step.  I've been feeling like I have been twirling around and around in one spot for quite a while and a step in ANY direction feels like absolute relief.  March On!!